A Day in Someone Else's Shoes

The euphoric sensation of that magic yellow pill inching its way down my throat is the only thing in my life that can assuage the pain in my soul. My name is Patricia Parkins, most people know me, as Dusty, and I am addicted to Oxy- Contin and methamphetamine. My drugs are expensive so to pay for them I sell my body to strangers for money. I am a prostitute.  

At the age of 20, life for me consists of painful withdrawals throughout the day, alleviated only by that ever so helpful dose of medication that brings me back to my version of reality. My day doesn’t begin until I intake a couple of Oxys, which are always on my bedside table. I then drag myself out of bed and take a shower, which is painful since I have neither heat nor hot water.  I get out and pound on my Dollar-Tree make up, and squeeze into my work clothes and slide on my   cheap high heels.  I look in the mirror as I was I’m about to walk out the door and all I see is a drained face covered in makeup and a soul dying to be released. I think to myself what ever happened to that A+ student? Why did I turn into? Who did I change for?  Could I ever change?

The first steps are always the worst. As I’m walking out of my apartment, all I think about is how I need to make money today and how it is crucial for today’s drugs. I get to the club and try to find someone who pays big money.  Most days, like today are failures, which leads me to be behind in paying the bills and a shortage of my med’s, which leads to more withdrawals and weeks full of agonizing pain. As the day ends, I walk home to my apartment, and swallow a few more Oxys so my body will continue to cooperate with me. My existence is one of the biggest regrets I have.  My life is a reoccurring mistake that I can control, but since I choose not to, is another factor to my corrupted life style. I have no secrets my life is an open book that everyone has read and looks down upon. Living life through my perspective would make anyone grateful for their own.  The thing us humans call life, isn’t what its cracked up to be, in my eyes its a bottomless pit of black with no hope, either way I go I fail.